she looked like the bat from fern gully.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
