after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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