Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
