I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
