Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
