Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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