beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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