I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
