Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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