So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
