Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
