I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
