Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
