Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
