32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
