Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
