It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
