he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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