hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
