Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
