so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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