Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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