smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
