I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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