I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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