I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
