you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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