Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
