i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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