remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Bring me that man meat
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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