Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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