somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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