So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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