its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
