I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Randomize
