My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
