Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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