Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
