i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
