i just google imaged poop.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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