Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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