You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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