Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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