batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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