First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
