Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
