i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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