his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
