I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
