hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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