i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
