Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
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he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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