I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
