are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
