She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
