For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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