we made out on top of his cat.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
