So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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