Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize