my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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