how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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