BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
