singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
