it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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